Is your eye twitching yet? Still, for so many of us this is exactly what we do on day numero uno of plans to make healthy lifestyle changes. We go all in.
Why Going “All In” Doesn’t Work with Healthy Lifestyle Changes
“When people are ready to make a change, their motivation is at an all-time high. They feel ready and willing to make all of these massive changes, and they think they have to make all of them at once to get results, and quickly,” says trainer Molly Galbraith, C.S.C.S., owner of Girls Gone Strong online fitness community. After all, it’s the immediate changes that come with a lifestyle overhaul that motivate many women to keep going. (Not a great motivator, FYI.)
But, let’s be real: eventually, results levels off, some days are complete shit storms of stress, “off” days in the gym happen to the best of us, and emotions fluctuate on the regular. (And, if you’re trying to make a ton of healthy lifestyle changes at once, no matter how good for you they are, we’re betting that completely overwhelmed is one of those emotions.)
And when they do, habits kick in. We go back to what feels effortless and automatic, and these huge “all in” plans never feel like either. “Change is difficult, and even painful, because your brain craves the safety of the familiar—even when the familiar isn’t serving you anymore,” Michelle May, M.D., founder of Am I Hungry? mindful eating programs and training.
After a week or months of “backsliding” and feeling like a failure, we jump into another “all in” plan, fueled by dissatisfaction and armed with a long list of things we need to change about ourselves. That rarely leads sustained motivation, and rather sets us up for one more so-called “failure,” May says. Sound familiar?
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“The decision to make one small, realistic change at a time, founded on the desire to practice self-care, however, is nurturing, loving, and compassionate,” she says. It’s also way more doable and, in the long term, can help you turn all of the healthy lifestyle changes that you have on your list into what Galbraith calls “effortless and automatic habits.” You do healthy things without thinking because, well, that’s what you do. And, yes, in case you’re wondering, you’ll still reap the same results. However, it’s important to remember that your desired results—whatever they are—will come more slowly, and likely won’t be as drastic as they are in the first week or two of an “all in” plan. But that’s OK because seriously, what good are fast results if they fade away in a month? So be patient. Be kind to yourself.
Making One Healthy Lifestyle Change at a Time
To get started, simply pick one healthy habit that you want to be part of your lifestyle. And the easier it is, the better, says Barbara Walker, Ph.D., a psychologist with the Center for Human Performance in Cincinnati. That way, you know that you can master it and, when you do, you’ll get a nice little confidence boost. “Make the change so small that it is almost painless,” May says. “Ease into it, adjust to it, make small course corrections as needed, then build on the small change with another small change when you are ready.”
So when are you ready to add on? As a general rule, when your first healthy habit feels natural and automatic, according to Walker. But, if you’re more into hard numbers, aim to practice your habit for two to three weeks, getting it “right” at least 80 percent of the time before adding habit number-two into the mix, recommends Galbraith. (Remember, this is about progress, not whatever you think this mythical thing called perfection is.)
When that happens, add a second new habit to your plan, each time building on the first while still choosing something that you feel very confident is doable over the long term. Then, add a third to the mix, and keep going until you are living the healthy lifestyle you want. Effortlessly.
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